CP9 goes canoeing
by Tatsu Shawna
Summary: The title said it all...Warning:Bad words,little of nudity and major sillyness from the author,M to protect my back!


Enjoy the silliness ;),again Oda-sama owns everything but Shawna,she's mine

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"Why are we here again?"asked Lucci  
"Don't start with it"drawled Shawna"I'm still wondering who in his right mind offered Spandam a day off for canoeing!"  
"Agree with palm tree here"growled Jyabura"Seriously,we can't even swim!"  
"So can't Spandam"hissed Kaku,joining the other  
"I hope no one will drown"said Kalifa  
"Don't bring bad luck!"hissed Lucci and Shawna  
"What are ya all whispering about?"asked Spandam  
"About how a burdern our bags are"lied casually Shawna making everyone agreeing with her  
"Anyway"said Spandam"Let's get into our swim suit,we have some canoe to take after all"  
Everyone let out a muffled groan,the girls walked to some bushed to change while the guys stayed where they were  
"Do you think it would be bad if we killed Spandam right now?"whispered Jyabura,changing into a grey swimsuit  
"Dunno but I'll help ya hide the body"answered Kaku,bringing out his giraffe swimsuit"Man !I don't know how to canoe !"  
"Because ya think all of us does ? !"hissed Lucci,his swimsuit was dark grey with a roaring balck panther on the front and claw mark on the back  
The girl apeared after 10 minutes,Kalifa was topless with an apple green swimsuit while Shawna was wearing a white bikini with a blue dragon on it  
"You should go topless"said Kalifa,making a grab for Shawna's top  
"Back off!Bitch!"hissed Shawna,ducking Kalifa's grab and running behind Lucci"I won't go like ya!"  
"But ya're tattoed and nipple piercied,that's for everybody to show!"replied Kalifa  
"As if I wanted to show it to people!"Shawna clung to Lucci  
"Shawna,you're digging your nails in my skin"drawled Lucci,glaring at the girl  
"LEECH!"screeched Shawna,shaking her head around like a loonatic,Lucci and Kalifa sweatdropped while Jya and Kaku laughed their asses off  
"Now that everyone's ready"Spandam apeared behind them"We can go"  
With that,Spandam began walking to where the canoes were awaiting them. The swimsuit he was wearing made everyone want to scream and run for their mum,Spandam was wearing a bright yellow tight spandex swimsuit  
"Please,let it be a nightmare"sobbed Shawna,still clingging to Lucci  
"Would love it but it's reallity"answered a deadpanned Lucci,taking his and Shawna's bag with him as he followed his boss  
"I think my eyes just burned"barked Jyabura  
Next to him,Kaku nodded  
"Does the chief knows that's sexual harassment?"asked Kalifa  
"That's worse than sexual harassment"drawled Shawna"Believe me!This cloth(if this is what can be called a cloth) should be banned!"  
The group nodded to her and followed Spandam to a rather old looking house,here an old man and some people awaited them. When the man saw that everyone was here,he started giving the people their necessary equipments such as watertight container,paddles and lifejackets  
"Emh...Sir,most of us here ate a devil fruit"informed Shawna as it was their turn"Won't it be a problem?"  
"Dun worry,missu"smiled a toothless grin the man"Ya won't 'ave any p'oblem swimming"  
"We can't swim"growled Lucci  
" 'ow sure can ya get,kiddo?"asked the man before handing Lucci a two headded paddle,a lifejacket and a container,doing the same with the other.  
"Come with me Kaku"sighed Shawna,taking her things and walking to their canoe,she strapped the container and took the two headed paddle  
"Let me explain,the one on the back is like the motor while the one on the front it is the rudder,got it?"informed Shawna  
Kaku nodded and took his paddle with him  
"We should watch out"warned Kaku as he put on his lifejacket"Spandam took a kayak"  
Shawna made a face while to putting on hers  
"We're all doomed !"replied Shawna as she pushed the canoe into the water"Climb!"  
Kaku entered the water and hissed  
"It's cold!"  
"Don't be a pansy and climb!"growled Shawna  
The giraffe Zoan climbed in front and Shawna pushed the boat a little more before joining him,she began paddling softly  
"Paddle left to turn right and right to turn left"added Shawna  
Kaku nodded and straighten up their canoe,Kalifa had decided to take a kayak leaving Lucci and Jyabura to paddle with each other  
"TURN LEFT MUTT !"yelled Lucci  
"SHADDUP !WHY SHOULD I BE IN THE FRONT !"barked Jya  
The paddled like idiots and only managed to slew around,Shawna and Kaku squinted at them and sweatdropped  
"Can I trust ya to be able to paddle effortlessy?"asked Shawna  
"Do you take Jya or Lucci ?"replied Kaku  
They shared a look and Shawna reverse paddled to the spinning bickering couple  
"Stop it guys !You only show us how dumb ya are !"hissed Shawna,standing up"Jya,change place with me and Lucci go in front!"  
The two Zoan starred at her before complying,Shawna let some space for Jya to land while Lucci walked in front and Shawna took his place  
"Lucci,give your paddle to Jya"ordered Shawna"Kaku,can ya manadge the dog?"  
"Sure!"smiled Kaku"Dun worry,I'll be fine"  
Shawna nodded,Kalifa paddled past them  
"Okay there Kalifa?"asked Jyabura  
"Sexual harassment,Jyabura"Kalifa put her glasses back on her nose"And Shawna!Go topless!"  
"Like hell !Bitch !"screeched Shawna"Where the hell is Spandam?"  
Something green passed by them. An upsided down kayak. Spandam's. How long the man had been underwater,no one knows but who was going to save him  
"Who wants to go?"asked Kaku  
"We can't swim"replied Lucci and Jyabura  
"I'll go"sighed Shawna  
The long haired gilr strapped heavyly her coat and jumped in the water,the other stared at her as she re-surfaced and floated  
_'F...Fl...Floated?'_  
"What the fuck?I can float?"shouted Shawna before swimming doggy style to the kayak,she turned it back and a wet Spandam gasped for breath  
"Why didn't ya swim to the surface rather than staying where you were ? !"yelled the other  
Spandam coughed  
"I was stuck!"replied the man  
"Why the heck did ya put this"Shawna showed the what could be passed as a security rope to the other"That's a good way to drown yourself while you're upside down!"  
Spandam growled  
"Anyway...When do we end?"asked the purple haired man  
The other squinted at him  
"We're merely at the begining and we have 6 km left"answered everyone  
"NANI ? !Does they think we have superhuman strenght ? !"screeched the man  
Everyone sweatdropped and Shawna climbed bak on the canoe Lucci and her shared  
"And minds the rapids!Those things are nasty"Shawna informed before paddling to the finish  
"What am I supposed to do?"asked Lucci  
"You're the rudder,okay while I'm the motor,paddle left to turn right and vice versa"  
Soon Kaku and Jya caught up with them,they sometimes looked behind them to see if Spandam was following them and here  
"This guy is a walking magnet disaster"growled Jyabura  
Soon the sound of flowding water was heard and rapids soon were in sight,Shawna stared at them and started paddling Lucci and her to the middle of them  
"We are to duck any rock in sight"  
"This I can do"replied Lucci  
"Ready?"  
"Always"smirked Lucci  
They entered the rapids,they ducked a rock on their left then on their right before straightening up the canoe  
"Woot !Woot !"yipped happily Shawna"The fingers in the nose!"  
Behind them,they heard Kaku's cry of joy and Jya's growling before they were in their eyes' sight  
"That was cool!"grinned Kaku  
"And we have more on our way,too bad Kalifa went away"smiled Shawna  
Shouts and cries was heard and the CP9 group watched,amused, as Spandam hit every rock of the rapids and started spinning around  
"I'm okay,I'm okay"said Spandam  
Lucci and Jya shook their head while Kaku and Shawna snickered silently before paddling away. The paddled for about an hour before their canoe stopped abruptly  
"Whut?"wondered Jya as he couldn't paddle while their was still water flowding  
"We're on flat"replied Shawna  
Lucci 'humphed' and climbed down the boat to pull it throught to the deeper side of the water,Kaku copied him and when this was passed they waited for Spandam  
"This thing doesn't want to work!"screeched Spandam as his kayak was stopped by the rocks"I want a new one!"  
Shawna sighed,climbed down her canoe and began walking to him  
"Ya need to pull it to where we are"replied Shawna,pulling the boat and nearly stripping on the ooze twice before Spandam was on the deeper water  
"I should be paid to babysit Spandam"grumbled Shawna as she tried to climb back on the canoe,she didn't succed and Lucci had no choice but to grab her by her swimsuit before paddling away. Someone waved at them from a little beach. Kalifa. The other smiled and paddled in her way,once on shore,CP9 instaled their towel and Kalifa handed them some sandwiches  
"Itadakimass!"Shawna was about to bite into her ham sandwich when something yellow landed on it,Shawna stared at the thing and stiffened  
"What's wrong?"inquired Lucci  
Shawna didn't dare breath nor move as the wasp on her sandwich helped itself to cut a piece of ham,Shawna slowly put her food down,crawled backward before standing and running into the water,screaming as if she was chased by the Devil  
"Whut?"Jyabura swallowed his food and stared at Shawna  
Lucci suddenly laughed like mad,Shawna,the mighty pain in the Wolrd's ass was effraid of wasps  
"THAT'S NOT FUNNY !"shouted Shawna"THOSE THINGS ARE EVIL !"  
Lucci laughed harder making Spandam laugh alongside with him while the other looked at her funnily,the wasp calmly flew back,taking with her a piece of meat  
"It's away"hicupped Lucci"Ya can come back"he laughed his ass off again  
Shawna grumpily walked back to her towel and to her food before munching it angrily  
"If someone repeat this to anyone,I'll chop his dick and force feed it to him"  
"What about the girls?"snickered Kalifa  
Shawna glared at her  
"I'll chop her boobs and shove it into her pussy that she'll look like she have balls!"snarled Shawna  
"No need to get so snappy"snickered Kaku"Eat your sandwich so we can go hunting"Kaku pulled out a shrimp net and a bucket  
Shawna nodded and as she was about to take the last bite,a wasp landed on her fingers,Shawna paled and didn't move again. She was really **REALLY** effraid of those things  
"Shawna"replied softly Kaku"It won't bite you"  
Shawna eyed warily the wasp on her sandwich,she looked ready to bolt into the water again,the wasp casually flew away again and Shawna still didn't move,Jya waved near her face before pushing her slightly with his forefinger,Shawna fell backward,she was frozen with fear making Lucci laugh again while Spandam choked on his food as he stared at the scarred woman  
"..."mumbled Shawna  
"Whut?"asked Jya  
"Can we go on?"mumbled Shawna  
"Only afer this"Kalifa finally grabbed her swimsuit bra and pulled,Shawna tried to stop her but too late,Shawna was now topless in front of the other,showing them her tattoes and nipples piercing  
"NO!"yelled Shawna"Give me that back!"  
Kalifa threw her bra into the current  
"GABEEN!**(AN:Sound of a jaw droppage)**"replied Shawna"It was mah favorite bikini! Bitch!"  
Kaku walked to her and put gently a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her  
"There,come with me"smiled Kaku,handing Shawna the shrimp net"We'll try to catch some big fish"  
Shawna nodded gloomily and followed him to a faucet,Shawna sighed one last time before looking for some good creepy-crawlies,they roamed around the faucet and found a no venimous snake,crawfishes and Kaku was holding a big frog in his hands,Shawna gently took the snake in her hand and the bucket in the other  
"Let's show this to the other"smiled Shawna  
Kaku nodded and the two walked back to the other,Lucci was sleeping while sunbathing with Kalifa,Jya was in the water,trying to catch,bare handed,some fishes and Spandam was throwing rocks in the water  
"Wait"whispered Shawna,a mischievous grin on her face"Give me a crawfish"  
Kaku looked at her and the frog croaked softly,Shawna put the snake into the bucket and took out a crawfish before tip toeing to Lucci's sleeping form  
_'She wouldn't dare,right?'_  
Everyone minus Kalifa and Lucci stared at her but no one bothered to warn Lucci,they just keep quiet as they watched her lifting the band of Lucci's swimsuit and put the shellfish in it before walking away slowly  
**'SNAP!'**  
"!"shouted Lucci,shooting up from his place,making a little dance"WHAT THE HELL!"  
The other laughed at him as he put a hand in his swimsuit and grabbed the shellfish before throwing it away,his glare landed on a laughing Shawna  
"BITCH!"Luci advenced on her way and Shawna quickly digged into her bucket and took out the snake  
"I have a snake and I won't hesitate to use it!"replied Shawna  
Lucci rose an eyebrow saying _'How the hell can a mere snake stop me ?'_ he took another step and Shawna ran for her life,the snake hissing angrily in her hands,Lucci chased her  
"GET BACK HERE !"  
"LIKE HELL !I'M NOT SUICIDAL !"screeched Shawna  
Kaku wetted the frog as he stared at the two,snickering with Jya and Kalifa while Spandam laughed his ass off and fell in the water. Lucci brought back with Shawna on his shoulder like a potato bag  
"Can we move on?"asked Jya,putting on his lifesaver  
"Yes"growled Lucci as he set down Shawna,she released her snake and the other thing in the bucket before with Lucci,paddling away. They passed many rapids and flat area before finaly arriving to the finish  
"Finally!"shouted Spandam"I won't do this again"  
"I rather liked it"replied Kalifa  
"So do I"agreed with her Kaku,Jya and Shawna  
Lucci merely 'harrumphed'  
They gave back their boat to some guys who got them back to their hostel  
"Oh my gosh!"yelped Shawna as she stared at her reflection"I look like an overcooked lobster"She had sunburns all over her body just like the other did  
"Damn"hissed Lucci as he looked at his back,it was so red that it was difficult to see his scars  
Spandam was worse,while the other looked red,he looked like burned  
"I'LL NEVER GO CANOEING AGAIN!"

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R&R


End file.
